DOWN TO THE DEADLINE NOW AHHHH
over 8 years ago – Fri, Jul 21, 2017 at 10:08:23 AM

LESS THAN TWO HOURS LEFT!

This is it, the final stretch! Thank you all for your support!!

If you're at the $15 book tier, I'll take this last chance to remind you that a mere $5 more gets you to the TOTALLY SWEET tier, which now includes the ebook, the physical book, stickers, tattoos, PLUS an ebook of "B to the F", an ebook I've written reviewing the novelization of Back to the Future in greater length than the actual novel itself. It is a crazy value that also features time travel, it's included in all tiers $20 or more, and I don't know how to sell it more than that! You can start reading it here to get a taste of that, but again, don't take too long because the campaign ends real soon.

 

Storywise, here's our final update. We were Ophelia, we wrote a book called "Romeo and/or Juliet" where Romeo is a horse but nobody else is (because we are making some deeply weird choices) and we decided to read our own book, focusing on Juliet's path! Here's what happens:

Read your own book, Juliet's path

"Hi I'm Juliet!" you read. "Actually, I mean YOU'RE Juliet, because that is the character whose choices you're making now! How this works is I'll give you an option and you choose it and then I'll tell you how you die (p.s. you don't always die but usually you do!!!!) Anyway you are a lady who loves a guy named Romeo but you haven't met him yet!! You think it would BEHOOVE you to meet him soon though!! todo: add in a cool story here!!"

That's it. That's literally all it says. Ophelia, you forgot to finish Juliet's story, AND you forgot to not make it suck!! This is a complete disaster. You definitely can't publish this as-is. In fact, all you can do is...

• rewrite it from the scratch
• definitely publish this as-is

I'm sorry we didn't reach an ending in time! I guess we'll just have to leave on this cliffhanger, which you'll resolve when the book comes out (WHICH IT DEFINITELY WILL, THANKS TO ALL YOUR SUPPORT).

Thank you all again!  The next update will be progress on how the book is going, and I'm really excited for this project to come together. 

AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU <3

TWO DAYS LEFT!
over 8 years ago – Wed, Jul 19, 2017 at 09:34:07 PM

We're down to the home stretch now! There's still a few spots left in the TOTALLY SWEET + GIMMIE A NEW FRIEND tier (we only have a limited number of the GIANT UTAHRAPTOR PLUSHES) so if that's what you're interested in I'd take a look here and change your pledge level if you're interested.  THEY BE SUPER CUTE <3

 

Also, this is the only chance to get them cheaper than their normal retail price, so that's another good reason!

Our readthrough of a subsection of the story had us getting captured by an angry mob, and things weren't looking good. The vote by a slim margin was to continue to be the super-good-at-killing Ophelia, and not to back to being Sam - who just got his thumb bit off as the prophecy foretold. So forget Sam, let's keep being Ophelia, and let's break free!! This definitely won't get weird at all.

Break free and escape

You, Ophelia, can clearly see where this is going, and so you decide to break free. You trick your captors by asking "what's over there?" and pointing over their shoulders, and when they look, you break free and kill 'em all with just a minor application of your incredibly advanced "kill suckers" skill.

When you free Sam he decides to skip town, and you don't blame him: the dude just got his thumb bit off. Meanwhile, you decide to keep this particular party going, and kill EVERYONE WHO BOTHERS YOU IN VERONA.

Unfortunately, once word gets out about you, this means you end up killing just about everyone. Turns out this whole town is wound SUPER tight, and there's this weird conflict and endless cycle of revenge between the Montague and Capulet families? And both were represented in the group that captured you, so you've already killed one of each family and basically the whole town hates you now.

Montagues and Capulets alike attack you , and you counter-attack, and you kill pretty much everyone, and the only really interesting thing that happens throughout this is that you come across the corpses of this Montague kid, "Romeo", and this Capulet kid, "Juliet", and it looks like they were SMOOCHING each other as they died. You probably were so busy killing other people when you killed them that you didn't even notice!

You stare at their bodies for a bit, trying to imagine what incredible adventures these two teens could go in if only the timeline were slightly different, trying to picture the incredible worlds that open up to them if only circumstances were just slightly different.

You start to write down some of your ideas, and a few afternoons later (because that's all the time it takes to write a cool book, don't let anyone tell you otherwise) you have completed your story! You wrote one of those non-linear second-person narrative books, otherwise known as "Choosable Path Adventure" books, and you decide to call it "Romeo and/or Juliet". Great title, Ophelia! Now all you need to do is proofread it.

The only option here is "Proofread manuscript", so that's what we'll do!

Proofread manuscript

You flip open the cover page of your manuscript and begin to read.

"Hello!" your story begins. "I am Ophelia and I am the author of this book. I kinda killed some teens and then I was like, whoah, hold up, what if they didn't die?? So that's what this book is about, all that stuff I thought about when I imagined about that idea. Let me know what you think!!"

That's all there is on page one. You're pretty sure this sounded better when you wrote it.

You turn to page two.

"So who do you want to be in this book?" you read. "Guess what, you can be Romeo or Juliet! Also I was gonna let you play as a cool horse too but then I thought, wait, I'll just never specify that Romeo ISN'T a horse and that way everyone can get what they want!!"

You don't remember writing that last bit at all!

• Play as Romeo
• Play as Juliet

This is our last choice for this KS - vote in the comments and I'll post the final story update tomorrow!!

Another tie in voting! Also: we're in the home stretch: only 2 days left!
over 8 years ago – Tue, Jul 18, 2017 at 12:44:55 PM

ANOTHER TIE IN THE VOTING TODAY! This is bonkers and not what I expected. It's an even break between HIDE OUT (see what happens to Gary) and "GO EAST (explore that dang City Hall)". I'm gonna cast the deciding vote and go with "HIDE OUT and see what happens" even though, as Josh points out, that means we're going to be captured. Why would I do this? WELL here's one reason: this Kickstarter ends in two days, and I'd hate to leave you hanging on a cliffhanger! So let's rocket towards an ending, hopefully maybe!

(The area we're leaving behind has tons of content: you could explore it for a long time and see all the little stories that happen - assuming, of course, that you're good at avoiding mobs. Which we just decided we aren't, so let's see what happens!)

Hide out here for a bit: I want to hear what she says

While your attention is focused elsewhere, you suddenly become aware that in the past few seconds you've been surrounded an extremely angry, extremely violent mob! You're trapped, Ophelia!

You try to reason with them, but they just stick you and Sam in a giant burlap sack. They let your horses go, though, so that's nice.

The only option here is "Oh well", so let's follow that!

Oh well

The mob dumps you and Sam in a basement, intending to torture you for information. "How did you elude our angry mobs?" they ask. "Normally we kill people on sight, but you managed to briefly elude us, and we'd like to know why."

You're super tough and ready for any interrogation they can throw at you, so you give them nothing. Sadly, Sam is not as super tough, and the second they have their enforcer bite off Sam's thumb, he tells them he was just doing what you told him to.

Thanks, Sam.

• OPTION PLAN: Break free and escape
• OPTION SAM: Be Sam again, see what's going on with this whole "torture" thing

Vote in the comments and we'll continue (OR CONCLUDE??) tomorrow!

New ebook unlocked, plus more story!
over 8 years ago – Mon, Jul 17, 2017 at 12:25:04 PM

Kickstarter-wise, things are proceeding along awesomely, and y'all are being so great about spreading the word. The exciting upgrade we got today a new addition all tiers at the $20 "TOTALLY SWEET" level and above, which gets you the book (digital and print), along with stickers and temporary tattoos. But NOW, it also gets you the ebook of B to the F (my book-length review of the (completely bonkers) novelization of Back to the Future). You don't have to do anything special to get it, just be at the $20 tier or above and it's all yours!!  If you're at the $15 "just the book" tier this is probably worth upgrading to, in my considered opinion! :0  Thank you all <3

ALRIGHT! Storywise, the consensus (by a little bit) was to go south, so SOUTH WE SHALL GO.

Go south: we'll hide behind the hill!

You tuck yourself, Sam, and your horses behind the hill and wait. So far, so good! It's not THAT big a hill, but you're at least partially obscured from anyone who is trying to view you, and who also happens to approach from the correct angle. Sweet!

Looking around, you notice a man running up to a woman, and you manage to just barely overhear what they're saying.

"Excuse me, my name's Gary and I know we've just met, but you have to be the most gorgeous person I've ever seen," the man says.

"Excuse me?" she replies.

"I know this is crazy, but – would you like to get dinner with me tonight?"

"What? No. NO THANK YOU," the woman says.

"I feel the same way," the guy you assume is named Gary replies. "Why play games, you know? I know you can feel this attraction too. Let's throw caution to the wind and get married!"

"EXCUSE ME??" she replies.

"You're right," Gary says, "I'm doing this all wrong, I'm sorry. Let me do this properly," he says, and then gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?" he says.

There's FIVE options here! You have SO MANY OPTIONS! And only a few of them will definitely kill you!!

• Hide out here for a bit: I want to hear what she says!
• Go north: hide behind the famous Geyser of Verona that Erupts on the Regular
• Go south: the beach of the Adige River is just the place to lay low for a while
• Go east: hide among the offices of City Hall
• Go west: we'll hide by Verona Dam, a large structure that'll distract passers-by from noticing some random boring people on horses

Vote in the comments and we'll pick this up next time! 

New tier coming! Also more story!
over 8 years ago – Sun, Jul 16, 2017 at 03:45:09 PM

First off: we'll be adding a new tier that gets you Romeo and/or Juliet at the same time as this book! It'll be the one-two punch of ADVENTURE and EVEN MORE ADVENTURE. We're getting a few ducks in a row but you should have that available tomorrow - thanks to everyone who suggested it!

Beyond that, we're well on our way to 40k, which is INSANE. Thank you all!!

Now, our playthrough: we left it with Ophelia and Sam in a playground, hiding out with some weird kids. The majority voted to go south, WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE IF YOU STUDIED THE MAP FROM A FEW UPDATES AGO YOU WOULD'VE SEEN THAT BRINGS US RIGHT INTO A MOB THAT WANTS TO KILL US! Jennifer B noticed and tried to warn us all in the comments, but it was TOO LATE.  We walked right into a trap!  And here's what happens next!

Go south

As you make your way forward, you literally bump into the very obstacle you've been trying to avoid: an angry mob! Here's the bad news: they reduce you and Sam to a chunky mist, to nothing that would not fit through a sieve. You're about to say "Wait a minute, I don't understand how you could practically do that, given that y--" but that's as far as you get before you're, as I say, reduced to nothing that would not fit through a sieve.

Later on scavengers eat the part of the gross body slurry that contained what previously was Sam's thumb, which fulfills a promise I made to him before you even showed up, Ophelia! 

Unfortunately for you, you remain extremely dead, and as such, this information makes no impression on you at all.

THE END

P.S.: It's just that I promised Sam his thumb would get bit at the start; it seemed like a good idea at time.

P.P.S.: yes I know that if you'd been aware of the prophecy, Ophelia, you would've exploited it by putting Sam in situations in which his thumb getting bit would accomplish things you wanted to see take place! That's why I kept it a secret!!

P.P.P.S.: anyway you died in what should've been a really easy puzzle for you so I don't know why you're mad at ME

THIS IS OUR FIRST DEATH. I suppose our choice here is to GO BACK A MOVE AND TRY AGAIN, or rewind even further and take it again from the top! Lucky for us I kept my fingers in the book, so both are viable options. What'll it be?

• OPTION RESTORE: go back a move and choose differently!
• OPTION RESET: go back to near the beginning and do things way better this time!